Fairy Tales Are Just That

How do we move on? How do we get through? How do we wake up everyday and live as if nothing is wrong? This is something I am struggling with. In the past few weeks that which has always been invincable to me, has fallen. I don't know how do deal with it. I don't know where to turn or what to do. I want to fix it all, I want to make everything better...yet I have no control over it. I am helpless. Do you know how this feels...helpless? I need to make everything o.k., but the truth is, nothing will ever be the same again. And yet everyday the sun continues to rise, work goes on, kids have to go to school, homework has to be done, meals made, laundry done...but how can this be when the world feels like it is crashing down all around. Doesn't the world understand that life as I know it is changing...why can't everything just come to a halt until we make this right? Why can't life pause until it's all better again....because it's never going to be the way it was. But why? It isn't time for my world to change. I'm not ready. I'm not prepared. I am learning that the world keeps turning, life still goes on...not the way I want it, but it still goes on. What am I supposed to do? How do I cope? Anger...believe me I'm there. Sadness...believe me I've been there and it isn't over yet. Faith..that's probably the hardest, but I'm trying. Facing the truth...don't want to, but have to. How do you deal when what is supposed to always be strong becomes weak? How do you deal when you cannot fix what is wrong? That is my job, has always been my job. I make things better, I work them out...so why has this power been taken away from me? Why can't everyone else see the pain. Is it just in me? I have a huge whole inside...I need something but what? I pray, I'm keeping my faith in God which isn't easy when it seems everything is falling apart. Who do I lean on, where do I turn. I know, I know...no one ever said life is easy....but no one ever said it is heartbreaking. There are so many different types of people in this world...weak, strong, poor, rich, faithful, faithless, selfish, selfless, givers and takers. There are those that do wrong their entire lives and never seem to 'pay' for their actions, and yet there are those who do right most of their lives and yet these are the ones that seem to pay. Why do bad things happen....why are there true monsters in the world? Why do we teach children fairy tales, why do we tell those learning about life that there are happily ever afters? Are we setting them up for pain? Are there ever fairy tales that come true? My world seems to be crumbling...but the world keeps spinning. The seconds tick by and become minutes which turn into hours and then drag on into days. How do we make our fairy tales end just like those in the books....happily ever after!